Memories....
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Happy Birthday, ur gift. My last.
The longest night i ever went through.
Silence, thoughts, emotions, love, pain.
Love's like a cigarette. Lights up and burns out.
My birthday gift to her, hope she will like it.
The most hurtful period i ever experienced when flashback haunts.
Sun's coming up, my heart's dying out.
Timeline of our story.
Now, it's off me. Farewell my trust, faith and love.
Silence, thoughts, emotions, love, pain.
Love's like a cigarette. Lights up and burns out.
My birthday gift to her, hope she will like it.
The most hurtful period i ever experienced when flashback haunts.
Sun's coming up, my heart's dying out.
Timeline of our story.
Now, it's off me. Farewell my trust, faith and love.
Today, Yang had done what he wanted to do for her.
Everything has been said and done. Therefore,
www.nkwdy.blogspot.com is dead.
http://yang-memorylane.blogspot.com/ if u guys are interested.
Goodbye.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Au Revoir My Love.
24/11/07 11:28PM
Firstly, Happy Birthday Ben, Hope u enjoyed yrself last nite. =]
Secondly, Thanks to the person(u know who u are) for telling me the thing last nite which i was always trying to find out. I dont blame u for keeping it away frm me for so long. Really.
I understand what makes u arrive to make this choice. Last nite was really a gd timing for me as i am so numb even after what i heard.Although u told me u are not sure abt whether is it true. But i am so sure tt its so damn true, cuz i know her too well.=].
To JW, maybe u wunt understand why i am feeling this way. But bro, i have my reasons for it. and i hope u would accept my decision.
Every person has their own thinking, own thoughts, own perspective of life. Is it true tt if a couple possesses different perspective of things cant last ?. I guess i wouldnt have an answer becus i failed to make it happen.
Beauty: Do all guys look into this word, when they are looking for a partner ?
A lot might say Yes, of course. But some do not, they look into e heart.
Have anybody heard their gfs asking, Why do u like me ?
What is your answer to that ? She's pretty ? or Her heart is pretty ?
Why are people comparing with each other in terms of looks ?
Its just becus of jealousy. But does it really matter ?
If looking for a gf refers to getting a hot babe, den i guess alot will
break up with they sees an even hotter girl come by.
Making urself prettier is perfectly fine. But overdoing it really turns
off. Ask yrseleves, do u spend time putting on makeup when u are just
meeting frens for just a few hours ?. If u all do this, it means overdoing
it. So if this becomes a habit, i guess u girls wouldnt even dare to go to
the market without makeup.
Why this happens? No confidence ? Does it helps ? yea, just for a moment.
The moment once u wash them away, ur confidence flows away in e sewage
pipe as well. Why John always told Jane(his gf) not to put makeup ?
Because John knows tt Jane has low self esteem, and he knows what she's
doing now does'nt help Jane in gaining more confidence in herself at all.
In terms of looks, maybe, when e "mask" is on. But doesn't help Jane at all
in terms of character. But sadly, Jane doesnt understand.
Lust: As for this word, i guess a lot of girls wun't understand at all. Lust is
born in everyone.Even monks,tts why thay have to rid away their lust in them.
Have u guys ever commment about your gf's dressing ? Why u guys do that?
Why speak up when u guys knoe tt ur partner will not be happy abt it ?
This is where care comes into e picture, well, if u guys dont care,
who gives a damn on what ur gfs are wearing. If girls wanna understand
abt this thingy, ask yr bestie guy fren, and he will tell u.
Love: Everlasting love, is there any ? When u're with ur partner, do u say
"i'll love u forever" and words similar to this ? Ya true huh.. You will
be a fool if u listen to that. When problems surfaced, do u tink tt
sentence counts ?.. Listen more to all more of this sweet talks and u will
find out that those are a pack of lies. It doesnt matter how much e
person once loved u. What really matters is will love last ? Is e bond
betweeen e two of u strong enough to overcome all sorts of problems ?
Whats e use of once loving the person so deeply but didnt even have e
courage to face up to problems together with him/her ?
So the word confidence will come again, and all goes round & round.
Anyway, Friends, this is just my opionion, no offence alrite.
As for today, rite now, I'm going to a place alone, a place where she always wanted to go but i failed to bring her there during this 2yrs a mth and 4 days. Will be be the last day i wear tt ring. Although she wunt be there, but i will fulfill it on her behalf, on her birthday.
If i am given a chance and everything will happen similarly, god, i hope u wunt let me know her at all.
She shouldnt have liked me in the first place too.
And yea, i should'nt have loved her. Its a mistake.
It's nobody's fault.
How i wish i didn't do so much for this relationship.
How i wish she would have told me how she's feeling 2 yrs ago.
Maybe at tt time, everything shld have ended, i would'nt have felt a thing.
How i wish she will be the one to tell me all this truthful reasons, but sadly, i have to hear from someone else. Felt so deceived.
Tonite will be e last nite i would say i love her. when the sun comes up, I'll hate her. I am so sorry. But i'm numb and cold.
Anyway, Www.nkwdy.blogspot.com, i remembered i once said i will use it forever. But sorry, this time, i guess i will take back my words, and it will never be used again.
My last words to her : I love u, but never again tomorrow. I'm sorry bebe.
I didnt see this coming, but it just did.
i promised u tt Bebe will never be used to others,
i will keep it.
U always wanted to go ECP, now i will be fulfill it for u.
Thank you for those memories
Happy Birthday Huiying.
- Nkwdy for the last time - 25/11/07 ¶ 11:29 PM 0 Comments
Firstly, Happy Birthday Ben, Hope u enjoyed yrself last nite. =]
Secondly, Thanks to the person(u know who u are) for telling me the thing last nite which i was always trying to find out. I dont blame u for keeping it away frm me for so long. Really.
I understand what makes u arrive to make this choice. Last nite was really a gd timing for me as i am so numb even after what i heard.Although u told me u are not sure abt whether is it true. But i am so sure tt its so damn true, cuz i know her too well.=].
To JW, maybe u wunt understand why i am feeling this way. But bro, i have my reasons for it. and i hope u would accept my decision.
Every person has their own thinking, own thoughts, own perspective of life. Is it true tt if a couple possesses different perspective of things cant last ?. I guess i wouldnt have an answer becus i failed to make it happen.
Beauty: Do all guys look into this word, when they are looking for a partner ?
A lot might say Yes, of course. But some do not, they look into e heart.
Have anybody heard their gfs asking, Why do u like me ?
What is your answer to that ? She's pretty ? or Her heart is pretty ?
Why are people comparing with each other in terms of looks ?
Its just becus of jealousy. But does it really matter ?
If looking for a gf refers to getting a hot babe, den i guess alot will
break up with they sees an even hotter girl come by.
Making urself prettier is perfectly fine. But overdoing it really turns
off. Ask yrseleves, do u spend time putting on makeup when u are just
meeting frens for just a few hours ?. If u all do this, it means overdoing
it. So if this becomes a habit, i guess u girls wouldnt even dare to go to
the market without makeup.
Why this happens? No confidence ? Does it helps ? yea, just for a moment.
The moment once u wash them away, ur confidence flows away in e sewage
pipe as well. Why John always told Jane(his gf) not to put makeup ?
Because John knows tt Jane has low self esteem, and he knows what she's
doing now does'nt help Jane in gaining more confidence in herself at all.
In terms of looks, maybe, when e "mask" is on. But doesn't help Jane at all
in terms of character. But sadly, Jane doesnt understand.
Lust: As for this word, i guess a lot of girls wun't understand at all. Lust is
born in everyone.Even monks,tts why thay have to rid away their lust in them.
Have u guys ever commment about your gf's dressing ? Why u guys do that?
Why speak up when u guys knoe tt ur partner will not be happy abt it ?
This is where care comes into e picture, well, if u guys dont care,
who gives a damn on what ur gfs are wearing. If girls wanna understand
abt this thingy, ask yr bestie guy fren, and he will tell u.
Love: Everlasting love, is there any ? When u're with ur partner, do u say
"i'll love u forever" and words similar to this ? Ya true huh.. You will
be a fool if u listen to that. When problems surfaced, do u tink tt
sentence counts ?.. Listen more to all more of this sweet talks and u will
find out that those are a pack of lies. It doesnt matter how much e
person once loved u. What really matters is will love last ? Is e bond
betweeen e two of u strong enough to overcome all sorts of problems ?
Whats e use of once loving the person so deeply but didnt even have e
courage to face up to problems together with him/her ?
So the word confidence will come again, and all goes round & round.
Anyway, Friends, this is just my opionion, no offence alrite.
As for today, rite now, I'm going to a place alone, a place where she always wanted to go but i failed to bring her there during this 2yrs a mth and 4 days. Will be be the last day i wear tt ring. Although she wunt be there, but i will fulfill it on her behalf, on her birthday.
If i am given a chance and everything will happen similarly, god, i hope u wunt let me know her at all.
She shouldnt have liked me in the first place too.
And yea, i should'nt have loved her. Its a mistake.
It's nobody's fault.
How i wish i didn't do so much for this relationship.
How i wish she would have told me how she's feeling 2 yrs ago.
Maybe at tt time, everything shld have ended, i would'nt have felt a thing.
How i wish she will be the one to tell me all this truthful reasons, but sadly, i have to hear from someone else. Felt so deceived.
Tonite will be e last nite i would say i love her. when the sun comes up, I'll hate her. I am so sorry. But i'm numb and cold.
Anyway, Www.nkwdy.blogspot.com, i remembered i once said i will use it forever. But sorry, this time, i guess i will take back my words, and it will never be used again.
My last words to her : I love u, but never again tomorrow. I'm sorry bebe.
I didnt see this coming, but it just did.
i promised u tt Bebe will never be used to others,
i will keep it.
U always wanted to go ECP, now i will be fulfill it for u.
Thank you for those memories
Happy Birthday Huiying.
- Nkwdy for the last time - 25/11/07 ¶ 11:29 PM 0 Comments
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
A nice song.
Happened to listen to this song. Ai Neng Bu Neng Bu Bian. Nice. =]
¶ 5:25 PM 0 Comments
Sunday, November 18, 2007
A Day, a sad one.
3 mths. Time really flies.
Stayed awake for e whole nite.
So many flashbacks, too many.
Weijie and Baocai stayed over at my place last nite.
Met jie up to catch up with each other.
Haix. Now my buddy is facing something similar as me.
Really hope tt he wunt have e similiar ending as me bah.
It hurts me to see him almost in tears while speaking abt his troubles.
One thing tt Weijie asked abt, made me really emotional.
He ask, if i regret loving her so deeply.
I gave a thought abt it.
My ans was No, becuz she once loved me tt deeply too.
I asked him e similar question, he gave e same answer.
Xiaobudian mei, if u happen to see this post of ur kor.
Hope tt u will think over it seriously alrite ?
Jie told me lotsa things over the nite.
Hmmm, Some things which he lied, or maybe kept frm u, might be wrong.
But at times, pple do things fer a reason, and his reason is just becuz of u.
Becuz he loves u, he cares abt ur feelings, tts y he decided to keep things to himself rather den letting u knoe.
He simply just dun wan ya to worry abt him and think alot. =]
U really meant alot to him. He told me you are already half of his life.
He told me abt wat he plans for u and his future, and everything.
Trust your kor bah, i can really see it thru his eyes when he told me all these.
I can completely feel how he is feeling now.
I knoe tt u're feeling as bad as him now. but do consider alrite ?
Put ur trust in him, Jie is a guy who is worth yr trust,worthy of entrusting ur love
Really hope tt u wunt let such a beautiful story of urs and his end like this.
I give u guys my blessings!
-yang- ¶ 7:54 AM 0 Comments
Stayed awake for e whole nite.
So many flashbacks, too many.
Weijie and Baocai stayed over at my place last nite.
Met jie up to catch up with each other.
Haix. Now my buddy is facing something similar as me.
Really hope tt he wunt have e similiar ending as me bah.
It hurts me to see him almost in tears while speaking abt his troubles.
One thing tt Weijie asked abt, made me really emotional.
He ask, if i regret loving her so deeply.
I gave a thought abt it.
My ans was No, becuz she once loved me tt deeply too.
I asked him e similar question, he gave e same answer.
Xiaobudian mei, if u happen to see this post of ur kor.
Hope tt u will think over it seriously alrite ?
Jie told me lotsa things over the nite.
Hmmm, Some things which he lied, or maybe kept frm u, might be wrong.
But at times, pple do things fer a reason, and his reason is just becuz of u.
Becuz he loves u, he cares abt ur feelings, tts y he decided to keep things to himself rather den letting u knoe.
He simply just dun wan ya to worry abt him and think alot. =]
U really meant alot to him. He told me you are already half of his life.
He told me abt wat he plans for u and his future, and everything.
Trust your kor bah, i can really see it thru his eyes when he told me all these.
I can completely feel how he is feeling now.
I knoe tt u're feeling as bad as him now. but do consider alrite ?
Put ur trust in him, Jie is a guy who is worth yr trust,worthy of entrusting ur love
Really hope tt u wunt let such a beautiful story of urs and his end like this.
I give u guys my blessings!
-yang- ¶ 7:54 AM 0 Comments
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Boring Sunday
Woke up at 4:30pm just now.
Have gt to go to Denver's place later for project. sianed.
Have been out in e nite for so long, i guess i was being kinda used to it.
Going to Mos,Zouk, Plush.. and blah blah blah.. i bet they will feel tt i'm happy.
hahas.. but, still prefer staying at home and doing those things tt i always did.
Sch had started for so long, never once i was attentive during lesson. lols.
This is bad. Really dont understand every single module, no motivation i guess.
hmm.. tis is briefly wat is going on with my life now.
- Last nite -
Intended to stay at home last nite and be a good boy.
However, thanks to my mum (i'm not blaming her, but it just happened)
Was watching TV in my room, i walked to her room to get smth.
Then she goes, " Yang arh, so long never see ******* le. How is she doing now ? "
Mum really shocked me and i didnt know how to react, what to say and to do.
But i ended up telling her the truth, she was shocked too, and keep asking and looking at me to see if i'm alrite.
hahas, luckily i am able to act COOL in time and say actually it's nth much, i am fine, she's fine, then smiled and walked outta e room.
When back to room to smoke, i guess she smells it, but chose nt to scold me tis time.
Guess she finally understand a lil bit of me bah.
While smoking, tried v.hard nt to tink, but doesnt help.
Luckily, weilin smsed for Zouk. Allan called too.they are my saviours.
So.... we decided to go Zouk, or else, i will suffer at home. hahas. =]
-Yang- ¶ 6:06 PM 0 Comments
Have gt to go to Denver's place later for project. sianed.
Have been out in e nite for so long, i guess i was being kinda used to it.
Going to Mos,Zouk, Plush.. and blah blah blah.. i bet they will feel tt i'm happy.
hahas.. but, still prefer staying at home and doing those things tt i always did.
Sch had started for so long, never once i was attentive during lesson. lols.
This is bad. Really dont understand every single module, no motivation i guess.
hmm.. tis is briefly wat is going on with my life now.
- Last nite -
Intended to stay at home last nite and be a good boy.
However, thanks to my mum (i'm not blaming her, but it just happened)
Was watching TV in my room, i walked to her room to get smth.
Then she goes, " Yang arh, so long never see ******* le. How is she doing now ? "
Mum really shocked me and i didnt know how to react, what to say and to do.
But i ended up telling her the truth, she was shocked too, and keep asking and looking at me to see if i'm alrite.
hahas, luckily i am able to act COOL in time and say actually it's nth much, i am fine, she's fine, then smiled and walked outta e room.
When back to room to smoke, i guess she smells it, but chose nt to scold me tis time.
Guess she finally understand a lil bit of me bah.
While smoking, tried v.hard nt to tink, but doesnt help.
Luckily, weilin smsed for Zouk. Allan called too.they are my saviours.
So.... we decided to go Zouk, or else, i will suffer at home. hahas. =]
-Yang- ¶ 6:06 PM 0 Comments
Friday, November 02, 2007
Woke up at 5 in e morning.
Skipped my french tutorials today,
why ? cuz i was finding out something tt meant alot to me.
partly also becuz of some inconsiderate pple. lols.
Some things i found out. But i'm so unsure if i should do.
And i needa to get rid of smth tt's born in me. hahas.. suayed.
Anyway, just did a quiz tt ah yan did earlier.
And it goes like tt:
Get to know yourself better
Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:
You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.
THE END. How is it ? Am i e person which the quiz described me as ?
-Yang- ¶ 5:16 PM 0 Comments
Skipped my french tutorials today,
why ? cuz i was finding out something tt meant alot to me.
partly also becuz of some inconsiderate pple. lols.
Some things i found out. But i'm so unsure if i should do.
And i needa to get rid of smth tt's born in me. hahas.. suayed.
Anyway, just did a quiz tt ah yan did earlier.
And it goes like tt:
Get to know yourself better
Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:
You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.
THE END. How is it ? Am i e person which the quiz described me as ?
-Yang- ¶ 5:16 PM 0 Comments
Thursday, October 25, 2007
My Blog.
Yesterday was a tiring day. Finished lesson at 12plus .. went home.
Took a rest, bathe, and went to school again for french lecture.
Learnt a couple of phrases and words. Totally different frm english.
Kinda difficult to adapt, but e lecture was fun.
Anyway, going back to e life tt i used led years ago, loner ?. hahas..
But i enjoyed it, yes ? or maybe not. but tis is life.
During holidays, really enjoyed spending time with frenz. they simply rock, i love them.
Back to yesterday, after lecture, went to meet my loved ones.
Anyway, it was XH's birthday. Met themm at clarke quay and had dinner.
Food was delicious, accept for e coffee. -.-"
Then went over to Ah Yan's place to play, monopoly.
ARh.. i lost, but i put on a great fight with XH, never say die attitude of mine really raised e game.. waahhaas..
This period of time, i guess i missed lotsa soccer matches which i would rarely miss in the past. But tis time, i'm gonna glue myself to the TV to wait for every LIVE telecast.
Today, Guess wat ? Click Five's coming to MOS tonite. cool huh.
But i'm gonna miss it. Cannot tahan ar. nt enuff slp. Will be finishing lesson at 2PM later, so .. gonna lie dead on my bed for hrs tis time.
Hmmm.. Asked myself if i regretted, no. Cuz i will be damn confident to say tt i'had taken a step forward and tried my best, even though things doesn't work out, but no regrets. Yea. hopefully whenever i tot of it, i'll smile becuz those beautiful moments had happened to us before. It is e best thing in our lives i guess. i love her. If only miracles do exist and will happen to us in future, i'll pray for it to come. Unwilling, but still, have to say Te Amo, & Au Revoir.
This is my blog, created by her specially for me. So, i will use it for life. =]
Bathing time and set off for school. bye.
Nkwdy- ¶ 8:18 AM 0 Comments
Took a rest, bathe, and went to school again for french lecture.
Learnt a couple of phrases and words. Totally different frm english.
Kinda difficult to adapt, but e lecture was fun.
Anyway, going back to e life tt i used led years ago, loner ?. hahas..
But i enjoyed it, yes ? or maybe not. but tis is life.
During holidays, really enjoyed spending time with frenz. they simply rock, i love them.
Back to yesterday, after lecture, went to meet my loved ones.
Anyway, it was XH's birthday. Met themm at clarke quay and had dinner.
Food was delicious, accept for e coffee. -.-"
Then went over to Ah Yan's place to play, monopoly.
ARh.. i lost, but i put on a great fight with XH, never say die attitude of mine really raised e game.. waahhaas..
This period of time, i guess i missed lotsa soccer matches which i would rarely miss in the past. But tis time, i'm gonna glue myself to the TV to wait for every LIVE telecast.
Today, Guess wat ? Click Five's coming to MOS tonite. cool huh.
But i'm gonna miss it. Cannot tahan ar. nt enuff slp. Will be finishing lesson at 2PM later, so .. gonna lie dead on my bed for hrs tis time.
Hmmm.. Asked myself if i regretted, no. Cuz i will be damn confident to say tt i'had taken a step forward and tried my best, even though things doesn't work out, but no regrets. Yea. hopefully whenever i tot of it, i'll smile becuz those beautiful moments had happened to us before. It is e best thing in our lives i guess. i love her. If only miracles do exist and will happen to us in future, i'll pray for it to come. Unwilling, but still, have to say Te Amo, & Au Revoir.
This is my blog, created by her specially for me. So, i will use it for life. =]
Bathing time and set off for school. bye.
Nkwdy- ¶ 8:18 AM 0 Comments
